Stop Seeking Permission

Sarah Elkhaldy:

Many times, we unconsciously seek consent from others to allow us to grow. What we are innocently asking for is a mirror in the external world to validate what is taking place in our internal world. This isn’t so horrible once it’s demystified.


Humans are interdependent, it’s a natural instinct for us to want and seek support from our peers. The difference between wanting support and wanting permission, however, is that with permission we are asking someone to give us the green light to do or be whatever it is we believe we need permission for.

This creates a sticky dilemma since needing permission makes us entirely dependent on the feedback we are getting from whomever we’ve bestowed the role of authority figure to. Consider the weight of that position for someone to hold. We may be seeking consent from people undeserving of that role with their own constraints and programming to abide by simply because we need that mirror.


Up to a certain point we can’t continue our growth through someone else’s authority, so we are going to get placed in circumstances where we are denied permission all so that we can become aware that we were asking for permission.


Friction is a huge catalyst for growth and part of becoming sovereign beings is the ability to allow ourselves to be misperceived by others without it spiraling us into an existential crisis.

People can spend their entire life unfulfilled by the course of their life choices all because of fears relative to accessing their own power. This doesn’t mean we have to compensate for our insecurities by fully immersing ourselves into the ego, it just means we stop avoiding judgment and become conscious of where we placed limitations on ourselves. Forgive yourself for allowing the judgment of others to hold you back.


The underlying fear is that if we lose the approval of those that we rely on for connection, we will be all alone. While this fear is not unwarranted, in reality, we are only denying ourselves our own totality by allowing our expression to be limited by the judgments of others.

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