mastery.fm – Page 27 – caffeine for the mind & spirit

Your Self-Worth

Lisa Nichols talks about her process for enriching your self-worth:

You’re only going to go as far as you think you’re worthy. I can push, you can push, you can have the greatest product — but if you don’t feel worthy, you will work hard to sabotage that relationship.

You don’t know you’re doing it! You’re driving that guy away, you’re driving that woman away — because your self-worth says they weren’t going to stay forever, anyway.

(…)

I did this for six months, every single day.

It’s the “I see you” exercise.

You get in the mirror and you complete three different sentences.

1. The first sentence is you look in the mirror, and you say your name. You say:

_________, I am proud that you…

…and find seven different things every day to celebrate yourself for.

Seven different. Each day you can do the same thing you did before, but each day do seven different things to be proud of.

2. The second sentence is going to knock you down a bit, it’s going to come from your gut:

_________, I forgive you for…

…and cut the shackles to blame, shame, guilt, regret, and anger.

In that sentence, you cut those five shackles. Not the first day, maybe not the third day… but by the twenty-first day, by the thirtieth day, you’ll feel some relief.

Go back five years, fifteen years, twenty years… that thing nobody knows about, but you? Go ahead and cut those shackles. Cause if you can still think about it, it’s still in your energy space.

3. And then the third sentence is:

_________, I commit to you that…

Before you make a commitment to anybody else throughout your day, you make seven commitments to you.

(…)

Celebrate yourself. Forgive yourself. Cut the shackles.

And then, commit to yourself, before you commit to anybody else.

That right there — that right there, will begin to fill your cup up.

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Always On Your Side

Steve Pavlina on the nature of reality and your relationship with it:

I’ve seen so many people go through traumatic experiences, and generally the way they recover is they have to reframe the experience. They have to change the story that they’re telling themselves. Instead of making it a tragedy, they make it into a lesson, a really powerful lesson.

Or they may turn it into an invitation to be a teacher to other people. “If I had to go through this rough experience, then hey, I can be a source of inspiration and help and assistance and encouragement for other people who are going through that kind of thing now, too.”

There’s so many amazing wonders that happen with the reframe of always, always giving the Universe the benefit of the doubt. Always assuming it’s on your side — 100%. Even when it seems like it’s beating you down and being difficult, you can always find a lesson in it if you look for it; you can always find the seed of a new growth experience.

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Emotional World

Emotional World / Abraham-Hicks

Abraham-Hicks:

None of you ever feel joy unless you are moving into what is new. There is no regression. You can’t hold back; you can’t stand still. Life insists that you become more.

And:

You can’t create enough pretty things or enough pretty faces or enough brilliant novels or enough brilliant music, you can’t have enough beautiful statues or paintings… you can’t make the world a beautiful enough place for you to stand around in observation of what someone else has created and have a good life. You’ve got to be in on the creative process yourself.

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Your New Identity

Steve Kamb on developing grit and stepping into a new identity:

Identify the new “identity” you want to have. The more specific you can be with it, the easier it’ll be to prove it to yourself. “I’m the type of person that never misses a workout.” “I’m somebody who eats a healthy lunch every day.” “I’m somebody who works on my side business every dang day.” Remind yourself of this EVERY day by hanging up a post-it note on your bathroom window, or using your phone/calendar to keep this at the front of your mind.

James Clear:

The key to building lasting habits is focusing on creating a new identity first. Your current behaviors are simply a reflection of your current identity.

To change your behavior for good, you need to start believing new things about yourself. You need to build identity-based habits.

And:

1. Decide the type of person you want to be.

2. Prove it to yourself with small wins.

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No More Zero Days

Great motivational post by a Reddit user:

Rule numero uno – There are no more zero days. What’s a zero day? A zero day is when you don’t do a single fucking thing towards whatever dream or goal or want or whatever that you got going on. No more zeros.

I’m not saying you gotta bust an essay out everyday, that’s not the point. The point I’m trying to make is that you have to make yourself, promise yourself, that the new SYSTEM you live in is a NON-ZERO system. Didn’t do anything all fucking day and it’s 11:58 PM?

Write one sentence. One pushup. Read one page of that chapter.

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Daily Conditioning

Jon Morrow:

For several years leading up to starting my own business, I ruthlessly eliminated anything that even suggested I was powerless and replaced it with concrete proof that I wasn’t. In other words, I deliberately “brainwashed” myself into believing I could do the impossible.

(…)

I listened to podcasts and audiobooks that told stories of people accomplishing incredible things for 4-8 hours a day. The goal? Drown out the negative. Anytime I was around negative people or having negative thoughts, I would pop in the earbuds and listen. Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar, biographies of Franklin Delano Roosevelt and Christopher Reeve. Hours every day, I listened to stories and motivational speakers suggesting I could do anything, and in time, I believed them.

Steve Pavlina:

Inspirational books and audio programs are one of the best fuel sources for cultivating desire. If you want to quit smoking, read a dozen books written by ex-smokers on how to quit the habit. If you want to start a business, then start devouring business books. Go to seminars on occasion. I advise that you feed your mind with some form of motivational material (books, articles, audio programs) for at least fifteen minutes a day. This will continually recharge your batteries and keep your desire impenetrably strong.

And:

For me the effect is undeniable. After 30-60 minutes of listening to someone like Zig Ziglar talk about goals, I invariably feel very optimistic and focused. And I tend to get a lot of high-priority work done when I’m in that kind of emotional state. But the key was for me was to maintain this as a daily habit.

Just like physical exercise should be a daily habit, I feel daily emotional conditioning is at least as important. Whenever I’ve fallen out of this habit for weeks or months at a time, I’ve invariably gotten sucked down into negative emotional states. Then I remember my solution, plug back in, and my attitude and productivity shoot back up again.

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Progress

Tony Robbins:

If you want to be happy, it’s one word: progress.

If you can make progress — and if your progress is not only within yourself, but it’s actually doing something of value for more than yourself — you’re going to be a damn fulfilled person.

Pete Michaud:

The factor that divides the successful from the average is not greatness.

It’s consistency.

No matter how busy or distracted or distraught you are, if you show up every day and do what you do, and you do it and do it and do it and do it, you will win.

Go do it.

Joel Spolsky:

You have to move forward a little bit, every day. It doesn’t matter if your code is lame and buggy and nobody wants it. If you are moving forward, writing code and fixing bugs constantly, time is on your side.

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Feeling Blessed

Steve Pavlina, in an article called Feeling Blessed:

Once you’re feeling relieved and comforted, even if you’ve had to drug yourself with food, wine, and mindless entertainment to reach this point, you’re in a reasonably good place to start thinking about what you want instead of what you don’t want.

Don’t worry about action just yet. That will come later. Just start thinking about what you want. Dwell on it. Obsess over it. Imagine how you want things to be. Imagine everything in your life working out beautifully.

Don’t worry about practicality. Just fantasize. But fantasize in a specific way. Sit on your couch (or a chair or park bench if people came and took your couch away), and imagine that what you want is actually becoming real. Put yourself in the frame of mind that it’s already happening.

And:

If it takes you 10 or more minutes just to get a clear picture of some small part of your life getting better, then so be it. Put in the time. Deliberately thinking about what you want is a very important activity. This kind of visualization is an outstanding use of your time.

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200 Hours

Steve Pavlina:

How many goals have you failed to achieve because you didn’t put in the time?

If you throw 200 hours at your #1 goal, could you make a serious dent in it? Very likely you could. Even if you don’t know how to achieve the goal, 200 hours of education would take you pretty far. “I don’t know how” is a nonsense excuse when there are so many educational resources available these days.

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The Fly

James Cameron on problem-solving from a higher perspective:

I had an epiphany while I was writing Avatar. I was working down in New Zealand, and I was just having a… it was just impossible to solve some of the dramatic problems. I couldn’t solve it, I couldn’t fix the script. And I just walked away, I sat down outside.

There was a glass cover to the veranda, and I watched this big fly — he was trying to get out, and he was banging against the glass. He just kept hitting the glass, over and over and over, because that’s how his little chip was programmed: you go toward the light, you go toward the sky. And he couldn’t get to the sky. All he had to do was drop down, fly three feet sideways and come out, but he couldn’t process it.

And I thought, How often am I that fly? How often is there some higher level of perspective that I lack in my chip, that I’m missing, that is so simple — that some fourth-dimensional being could look at the problem and go, “Oh, you idiot, you just drop down, go over three feet, and you’re out!” But the fly couldn’t do it.

And I thought, “What am I not seeing?” And that’s when I went back to first principles. I looked at the whole thing from a higher level. I got out of the trenches, for that moment, and that’s how I solved the problem.

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